you guys reblog this every wednesday every wednesday i wake up and wonder what day it is and i see bigweld in my tumblr notifications and im like ah its wednesday again bigweld wednesday just like last wednesday its wednesday its bigweld wednesday
Abjuration: Protection from physics. You are no longer affected by gravity, inertia, temperature, etc.
Conjuration: Summon literally every demon (10ft radius)
Divination: Detect whether you are actually a fictional construct taking part in a semi-improvised game narrative or not.
Enchantment: Mind control people so effectively that they were already doing the thing you wanted them to do before you mind controlled them. Some might say this is just you taking credit for people doing things they were gonna do anyway, but what do martials know?
Evocation: BLOW UP THE FUCKING SUN.
Illusion: Send yourself into a fully realistic dream world so you never need to bother with existence again. Good luck with the lich army fuckers!
Necromancy: Animate dead but on all the world’s fossil fuels.
Transmutation: Transform the entire multiverse into a no-magic high-tech humans-only world where the real world only exists as a reasonably popular tabletop RPG line.
Universal: Maximum counterspell. Cast on a wizard they forget everything after the day they started wizard school, cast on a cleric or warlock it kills their patron, cast on a druid it causes a global mass extinction and cast on a sorcerer to make all their blood fall out.
obsessed with sokka’s name kinda popping up everywhere in school books years after atla. like yeah ur learning history about the end of the hundred year war? oh right with the avatars amazing team and some non bender named sokka who probably wasn’t all that important. on to gym class where u learn different fighting styles, did you know btw that the first guy to ever train with the kyoshi warriors was some random guy named sokka? oh well. can’t be late for physics where we learn about the invention of the air balloon and the submarine by … sokka? huh okay I guess, on to politics where we learn about all these important decrees over all the different nations which were first proposed by.. ah man, sokka? again? anyway art class now, here look at these paintings made by sokka
people are always saying they want a texan but they’re never ready for the enrichment necessary to keep one hale and healthy. where’s your chainsaw? your local woods? your power tools? tell me what you’re gonna do the first time this texan tells you they made plans for your whole weekend? a texan is a lifetime commitment, and they often live well past ten years after you adopt them. think before you purchase
fuck its got a gun
that’s a common breed trait, and an important reason to make sure you get to know Texans’ temperaments before you adopt. one of my favorite Texan breed traits is the saddle patterning- though it’s common also in the Wyoming region. One can often tell the difference by the pitch and patterns of their vocalizations!
For those who want the sturdiness of a Texan without the energy demands, I recommend a Coloradoan
*sucks air in through my teeth* It’s true that Coloradans will exercise themselves, but the necessary equipment can set a prospective adopter back quite a bit. Whether your Coloradan is the outdoorsy type (and will thus need at least $1000 USD spent on a bicycle yearly) or the more stay-at-home foodie variant (who will need specific imported foods and 150% of your counterspace’s surface area in appliances), they do not come cheap.
What about Coloradans who are both outdoorsy AND foodie varianted?
Honestly if you don’t own a ranch or at least a farm, I don’t think it’s possible to support one of those. It’s sad, but sometimes it’s best for these high-maintenance creatures to be sent to a farm upsate
reminds me of when some old church in Sweden was cleaning out their storage and they forgot they had left like 80 medieval corpses in some ikea bags during renovations so somebody opened a closet door and it’s just
